- My wife and I try to share their home and parents’ tasks, but many still fall on her.
- I do my part by being the main guardian of our marriage, planning dates and romantic travel.
- I think more men should focus on keeping the marriage lively and not leave it to their wives.
By the time I saw that the registration was opened to register our preschool in the kindergarten, my wife had already begun the request.
This dynamic is a repeated topic in our family. My patient professional wife runs most of our household responsibilities. And while I am a engaged father, I cannot deny the imbalance. My wife deals with many homework, planning and parents.
Over the past 15 years, my wife and I have resolved some of our dynamics – occasionally through thoughtful discourse, but more often through peace negotiated after another marriage.
Amidst the constant donation and getting to our family, I have found part of our partnership for which I am almost fully responsible: the care and nourishing of our romantic relationship.
My wife is under the control of the house and children
Millennical men, especially fathers, are doing more at home than ever before. According to the Pew Research Center, by 2010, male partners contributed twice as many hours to internal work than in the 1960s.
My relationship reflects this. My children were born in 2020 and 2022-When Pandemia dramatically changed my work habits that I don’t know if parenting or Covid-19 changed my life more. Looking for work aside, I start the days of the week by downloading the dishwasher before the daily care falls and go home to cook the dinner before bedtime.
However, despite these profits, women in heterosexual relationships still bear more home and parental responsibility.
Unfortunately, this has played in my marriage and remains our largest source of tension. Although I treat a fair part of the laundry, I answer the children who cry in the middle of the night, and insist that daily care teachers talk to me, not just my wife – there is no doubt who is responsible for the home.
My wife thinks ahead. It remembers the deadlines. It predicts the need before they are born. It is ahead to keep our children alive.
I am the main guardian of our marriage
I did my job to ensure that our marriage does not lose in the chaos of parenting. I plan monthly dates, coordinate social time with friends and neighbors, and make sure we have time together that has nothing to do with children’s logistics and care. We also expect holidays.
I do not think of these tasks as magnificent, romantic gestures; They are a practical responsibility.
I have learned that relationships require maintenance, just like parents or home finances. But in many heterosexual marriages, this emotional work is another task that falls disproportionately in women. I hope to change it.
A few days after the garden app was delivered, for example, I set another plan in motion. We threw the kids with my laws and boarded a flight to Puerto Rico, where we spent a few days restoring in the sun. It was not just a break – it was an investment in our relationship. And we got better back for her.
A Call for Men: Get Ownership of Your Marriage
Very often, we talk about men who grow home only in terms of jobs and child care. While they are essential, there is another responsibility that is just as important: the relationship itself.
I believe that more men should try to share internal responsibilities equally; My wife and I do and will continue. But men can also become guardians of marriage.
It is not just about justice; It is about strengthening the foundation of your family.